Rain down
To say I got rained on today would be an understatement of the biggest proportions. If squeezed, I could’ve produced enough water to sustain myself for a week. If squeezed, I could’ve mayhaps flooded a valley or two. It hailed. In Rome. On me. I got to my interview and couldn’t take off my sweater for fear of revealing more than should be revealed on a first date. Or ever. Anyway, I am hoping to get this job because it would seriously rock my tiny, insignificant world. And, it’s decent money.
Other than freezing to death, I didn’t do much. I met up with Donna Matelda and we chatted a bit, in the rain (today’s fil rouge…). Oddly enough, I feel an affinity to her at this point in our lives that I hardly feel with anyone else. It’s the fact we’re both only children and that we both have reckless mothers who do crazy things. I cannot even fathom losing the one person in the world who is "contractually obliged" to love me and this, I think, is not easy to understand for someone who has brothers or sisters. Or sanity. Sometimes I turn zen and accept life. Other times I realize what I’m doing and immediately revert to the comfort and familiarity of blinding anxiety. Come to mama!
Tomorrow I interview for another job and have not even looked at Access (one of the requirements). I am dumb.
Ben keeps half-singing to David Bowie and it’s very distracting. In that "boy, he rocks" (or "boy who rocks") kinda way. I should write him a letter. When I’m hormonally crazy I usually write him letters. Or smother him to death. I bet he likes the letters more.
After spending the whole evening shivering, I am now having hot flashes. *pant*