Well, I can’t say I started the new year with a bang. More of a grrr. I can’t even pinpoint the reason why, but I’ve been in a foul mood all day. It’s one of those instances of leave me alone/why the hell are you ignoring me? I changed in my pajamas at 9, hoping to end this day ASAP. As of yet I’ve been, quite obviously, unsuccessful.

I wanted to go out and leave the in-laws behind, but it’s really cold and it was apparent to me Ben would’ve rather not. Sometimes I miss not being alone. I love the man and all, but the constant we gets to me sometimes. I know I could’ve gone out by myself, but maybe I would’ve liked sitting at home alone more. And, unless I want to shove people out the door, that is almost never a possibility. Ben can choose to tag along or not (and most often than not he chooses to stay behind), but I can’t. Unless he wants to sit outside our door while I have some Carla time. That’s when I start feeling crowded and when I tend to lose some of my sense of humor. When the constant teasing and faux tantrums get to me as if they were real. I need a life almost as badly as I need a job. I also need to feel less crowded.

My only New Year’s resolution is to enjoy things and people more. It seems easy enough. Much easier than all the resolutions I should be making instead. Enjoying is not second nature to me, however, and it might take some adjusting.

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