Post Anxiety Post
I think we can all agree on the fact I’m not just backwards, but wrapped on myself-tied in a knot-upside down backwards. Today my form of weird has to do, as underlined by the post title, with anxiety.
We went to the place where bureaucracy happens for immigrants. We waited forever as, one after the other, the "priority" cases skipped a very neatly and very long line. There’s priority and then there’s flat out laugh in my face/kick me in the gums priority! It was ridiculous. Anyway *breathes heavily in paper bag and pops valiums*, it finally got to be our turn and, as per usual, that’s when I give my best. All of the waiting and thinking has made me come up with 15 questions, 12 of which require very lengthy answers. Fortunately, the fingerprinting is S L O W and all my questions are answered. The one answer I did not expect has to do with our imminent trip to Paris. Apparently, not having a permesso di soggiorno means Ben is not allowed to travel. That’s when my jaw dropped a little, but all considered, not that much. I personally don’t care and I dare them to stop me from enjoying my romantic Parisian getaway once I step on French soil. However, I can’t take a bus without a ticket, imagine taking a plane without knowing if Ben might be deported or not. The guy was extremely nice. EXTREMELY and to the point he said to come back tomorrow with our plane tickets and he’ll see what he can do (which better be anything we need him to do!). A normal person would’ve had the following reaction to these events, I assume: normal-anxious-very anxious-relieved. My reaction has been: normal-normal-amused-normal and, now that I’m home and obsessing about it, ANXIOUS. If it was up to me, I’d wear my pajamas and take the longest nap. Unfortunately I have some of Ben’s work to do (WE CHEAT!) and then I have my interview at 5. And tomorrow we show up at 8:30, in hopes a miracle happens.
During our eternal waiting, I started the heel of my sock and bickered with Ben incessantly. It usually happens when I’m in a particularly good mood. Lately we’ve been doing it a lot (probably a result of me being stuck at home ALL day with nothing much else to distract me) and it bothers me. Apparently I’m very mean to him and pick on him a lot. I remember complaining about the same thing once and him getting offended because I can’t take a joke. Men! It’s funny how my fear of confrontation disappears when I’m in a marital spat. I suddenly turn into the worst of bullies. I think it has to do with frustration and the fact we’re constantly around each other. I know those are my main reasons for getting upset. Fortunately his awesome grossly outweighs the little annoying things. Sadly, sometimes the little annoying things are all that I can see 
And that’s why my New Year resolution was made, because at some point, I need to stop being 12 and realize that life isn’t all black and white and that the nuances are 98% of the fun.