Happiness
More or less
It’s just a change in me

But how many corners do I have to turn?
How many times do I have to learn
All the love I have is in my mind?

(The Verve)

Apparently my impeccable musical taste is also great help in my daily dealings with life. My Zen approach to life and its many aspects is an ongoing project. It’s really weird to let go of my anxiety and just live in the now. I have occasional setbacks, when I decide to dip my head in the past and go rummage through those murky filthy waters, but I am finding it easier and easier to just look up. Sometimes I get worried I’m just building my new foundations on shaky denial territory, but not denying denial is the first step to recovery, right? Or is that just the most delusional statement? Let me repeat my zen mantra: whatever.

I have been playing a lot of WoW lately.

See? Even my cat thinks I play too much

I have retreated from public life and am now enjoying my virtual life made of fun, sometimes aggravating, but always entertaining people. I haven’t fully retreated from public life, in truth (not unless it’s raid Saturday, that is), I am getting back in touch with some awesome people from my past. Sometimes successfully, other times… not so much. I need to learn to let go of some of these people. I can’t take the drama and the horrid flashbacks from the past. Sure, I’ve known you for 23 years, but apparently you’ve always been a bitch and you’ve been sucking me dry for that long. CHOP! It makes me sad, because they’re part of the background of most of my adventures, but whatchagonnado? I just worry that when I die no one will come to my funeral. And that’d be so sad.

Lastly, I think about this EVERY single morning: I love Rome. It pisses me off A LOT, but I turn a corner every morning and find myself head over heels in love with it all over again. If this government and these fascist dumbasses keep up, I will have to move to Sweden soon, but let it be known that it’ll be heartbreaking for me to go.

Gratuitous Rome shot